Friday, February 29, 2008

Drum roll please


Here we go! B and I met with our home study social worker for the first time today. This is the first of 5 meetings. You know we have been praying for wisdom in timing and we really feel like it is time to start the process. It may be a miracle to bring the children home by July, but good thing we know the maker of miracles! We think it is just a miracle to add more children to our family in this way. Of course we want to pursue them and we want them to know we tried to bring them home as soon as possible. If we don't bring them home by July then it will be October at the earliest bc of the court closing. This is okay too, bc there is much preparation involved in adopting older children. We know God is the ultimate decider in all of this and praise Him for it!
The big question...Do B and I know who we are adopting yet? not for sure, but we will let you know when we do!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

John Harvey's favorites

Letter..B (every letter is the letter "B" at the moment-oops! Guess we made too big a deal when he recognized it!)

Word...cool (at the store yesterday everything he picked up was "cool!")

Animal...Panda bear (has been obsessed about them ever since the zoo trip last weekend)

Cereal...organic panda peanut butter puffs (see above-he MADE me buy it at the store!)

Field Museum Exhibit...Africa (just a guess, but in my defense I couldn't keep him off the exhibits in this one yesterday!)

Song...This little light of mine (preferably sung by Mr.Singer)

Book...Teddy Bear Picnic (we must read it 3 times a day!)


Other than this He pretty much loves everything! Seeing his personality develop is such a delight. Thank you for all of your prayers for us-we have been so encouraged by you. God is so good always and is definitely revealing His wisdom in our concerns. We meet with our social worker Friday and will get some specific questions answered then.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I'll say yes

I want to share where we are right now. I don't want to forget one second of what this feels like...
Here is the big news. Ben and I feel right about adopting OLDER children. We started this journey looking for a baby. A baby boy to be exact.
Amazing how God changes our hearts for HIS good. I am scared, shocked, nervous, excited, anxious, and bursting with love and excitement.

"I'll say yes, Lord, yes, to your will and to your way..." Ever heard that song? Our sunday school leaders used it to tell us of the amazing way God is leading their life and it is in my mind right now. Linda talked about Lazarus in the tomb and Mary and Martha not wanting Jesus to move the stone. No, Lord-he has been in there for days-think of the stench! If Jesus had not moved the stone, they would have missed the resurrection. I am like them too,Linda, I have so many questions and concerns. But, I don't want to miss the resurrection. I am on pins and needles to see what God is going to do in our lives. And I have every peace in the midst of the chaos of my mind to know that God will equip us for every good work.
I want to give my children shoes that fit and a bed with their name on it. I want to wrap them in my arms and shower them with love to soothe all the hurt of their short lives. I want to tell them all about how God led us to them and how He chose us to be adopted too. I want to give them a bath and let them splash water all over the place. I want to comb their hair out and lotion every spot of their skin. I want to see the world through their eyes and be convicted of all the things I take for granted...And I want these things for all the orphans in Ethiopia. I mean truly ache for these things. There are so many older children waiting for homes. These are loving, gracious, respectful children. Most of them have grown up in a family and known love only to have it ripped away. I think of my precious son and what life would be like if he woke up to find me and Ben dead. If all of his grandparents died long ago and his aunt and uncles already had too many mouths to feed. Where would he go? Who would take him in?
Pray for us, with us. We are in the home study stretch now and want God's leading in some specific areas. We pray He will give us grace in getting our paperwork in before court takes an Ethiopian new year break in late summer. Pray for our children. We are not sure who yet. We do have a pretty good idea. And, yes, we will let you know the minute we know!

Monday, February 25, 2008

The times are in God's hands, not ours

What matters is not that we do all we might have done or all we dreamed of doing, but that, while we live, we live by faith in future grace and walk in the path of love. The times are in God’s hands, not ours. John Piper


some news about me...I know God was preparing me all last year for the sadness we would feel when we lost the babies. He is so good to us because he led our small group to study John Piper's Don't waste your Life.. This book shaped the way I look at tragedy and I (pray) exploded my myth of safety
Imagine my excitement when I heard that John Piper has adopted and has a lot to say on our adoption as Sons and our adopting children.
Here is a link to his site. Actually, B is not home and I don't know how to link. Maybe you could paste it to the browser? This is a beautiful reminder of God's gift to us.-amanda


Adoption: The Heart of the Gospel
Eight Similarities Between God’s Adoption of Us and Our Adoption of Children
MICAH Fund Adoption Enrichment Seminar
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By John Piper February 10, 2007

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/ConferenceMessages/ByDate/1991_Adoption_The_Heart_of_the_Gospel/
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Sunday, February 24, 2008

Something's Cookin'


Our agency director is back from Ethiopia. She now has video of over 30 orphans who need homes. Truly don't know what this week holds!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Maybe He needs it for groceries?


We had a super fun lunch today at K's house. John Harvey was great even though he totally missed a nap-it helped to have sweet A to play with. Well, her and the HUGE bowl of money-or as JH affectionately calls it "meme".
When it was time to leave to come home his pullover and pants pockets were absolutely stuffed with silver coins! No worries though, bc there was no way he would take out his binkie long enough to swallow a coin. oh, and he totally gave ms.K all of her money back-almost willingly.

Monday, February 18, 2008

For Rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior...

I just found our that all contact between Ethiopian families and adoptive families has been suspended. This includes meetings with the birth family while adoptive families are in Ethiopia picking up their children and also contact between the families after the adoption.
Apparently concerns have been expressed by the U.S. Embassy in Addis Ababa citing a 1989 amendment to the Immigration and Nationality Act "regarding orphan status, irrevocable relinquishment, and termination of family rights."
I am still trying to figure out what this means...Ben and I loved the idea of meeting and staying in touch with extended family in Ethiopia. So much is written now about open adoption and how important it is for the children to know as much as possible about their history. The children are already losing so much, I loved the idea of them having some kind of link to family (and possibly they still will).
So I feel this as a loss, yet I can't help but think the Embassy is just trying to do right by the kids...Praying God's grace on Ethiopia and that adoption agencies will be held accountable to ethical standards and then have nothing to fear (Romans 13:3)

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Children's Museum


The past couple of pictures are from a trip to the children's museum!

We want this

B and I talked with my doctor and found that I have no known medical reasons to have multiple miscarriages...This was not a huge surprise to us and a little more anticlimatic than we expected-as in, does this really matter to us at this point in our lives?
If you have read my past blogs you know that we answer "no" to the question- are you adopting bc of your miscarriages? - but "yes" to the fact that God has used them to change our hearts.
Ben and I are super grateful that our eyes have been opened to orphans all over the world...In Ethiopia, In Russia, Here in Chicago...
WE WANT TO ADOPT. we know one day we may be pregnant again and God may chose to give life to another of our biological children. And we pray that child will bring Him glory, just as we have prayed for all of our children. But this is not choice number one for us in the sense that adoption would then be choice number two. We want God's plan to bring Him glory. We want to take care of His children who may have been born to someone else. Now that adoption is in our sight, we want it because we feel that God wants it for us.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Life to the fullest


This is what I love about my baby...We bundled him up in the rain coat just like all the other kids, but in his exuberance no amount of coat could keep him dry...about 10 minutes after this picture John Harvey was sitting on my lap in a diaper while his daddy dried his clothes in the mens room.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

In view of God's mercy

We recently finished our study of Romans 12. What a beautiful time to be studying Romans, but then God knew that. I felt so blessed at my study to hear everyone who had been praying for us about the A situation. To catch everyone up-when Ben and I inquired about sponsoring a cleft palate sx the agency asked if we would consider adopting the little boy, A. After beginning in prayer and consulting many medical professionals, Ben and I both had a peace (that surpasses all understanding) about not pursuing adoption. We really clung to Rom. 12:1-2
Therefore I urge you, bretheren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of GOd is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect
Ben and I truly want to submit our lives to God as a living sacrifice and it was so important for us to make this decision not based on the thinking of our present age. I imagine the world would say- why take on a special needs child who is not "yours" and there are too many unknowns. But God says, Let me renew your mind!!! God has a perfect will and by His grace made it so clear.
So the questions- do I submit everything I do to God's authority the way I submitted this? Am I not lagging in dilligence, but TRULY fervent in spirit? Am I taking every opportunity to further the Kingdom?
Yes, once again can I tell you how much I love my journey? I can't even imagine how my life could have been different this January. But then, God knew that too, didn't He?

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Favorite George

We love the weekend! We are excited bc now we only have one week to go until we hear from Our agency consultant. Please pray for her time in Ethiopia, that God would soften hearts and open doors for her in a way that He will be glorified. We are playing a bit of a waiting game, but this is adoption. We are eager to know our path in terms of our agency. But so grateful too, bc God is just opening new doors right and left.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Safe Family Home Study!



We had our safe family home study this afternoon and everything looks great. We even had a fellow southerner conducting our interview. Right now there is not a specific program like this in TN, but we are praying and thinking maybe we can be a part of it/help get something started when we move. Ben and I are very excited about the opportunity to love on these children and may even get a call as early as Monday. Unfortunately, due to the cold weather, the need is very high right now...

Thursday, February 7, 2008

favorite places

JH in his new favorite spot. Yes, Behind the crib!



Identity

So, I know in a past post I talked about finding our true identity in Christ. This is really on our minds right now as we try to learn how to parent in a transracial way.
Here is an interview with a man named Thabiti Anyabwile, pastor of First Baptist Church in the Grand Caymans. This is taken from the blog of an adoption agency called Carolina Hope.

4. Some people, for any number of reasons, are uncomfortable with the idea of transracial adoption. Other people, because of their views on race, are outright opposed to the idea of transracial adoption; they believe that adoption across ethnic lines should not be practiced. How might the Bible speak to these concerns?

"Well, I think it depends on the nature of the discomfort or opposition… If the discomfort or opposition is grounded in some assumption that “races” are unequal or that “races” should remain segregated in family and social relationships, I think the Bible rebukes and corrects that kind of thinking in several ways. First, it’s clear that there is only one “race” of man, all descended from our original parents Adam and Eve (Gen. 2; Acts 17:26). There is no biblical basis for discomfort or opposition based on racial attitudes. Second, the alienation that sometimes stirs opposition to transracial adoption is really a spiritual problem. It’s a product of the Fall of man into sin. The cure for that problem is saving faith in Jesus Christ, wherein man is first reconciled to God and then reconciled to other men. So, for Christians in particular, those who are adopted into the family of God through faith in Christ, opposition to transracial adoption is tantamount to denying the work of Christ on the cross.
But there may also be discomfort or opposition not based on racial attitudes but some prudential concerns. Some may wonder if they are sufficiently equipped to parent across culture and ethnicity. Others may worry about the tension or conflict they may experience. There we have to remember that we are not called to love only in the convenient places and situations. We’re called to a radical love, one that mirrors the love of God for broken sinners. And the end of such love is unspeakable joy. For the joy set before Him, Jesus Christ endured the inconvenient and uncomfortable agony of the cross to redeem a people who were hostile toward Him. Adoption across ethnic lines may be one of the best pictures of that radical Christ-like love we have available to us today. So, “prudential” concerns that awaken discomfort aren’t finally sufficient reason to refuse or oppose such adoptions."


5. More and more couples are considering adopting transracially. How would you counsel a couple that desires to adopt a child from another race (i.e. ethnicity)? How would you seek to educate them theologically? How should the gospel help shape their view of transracial adoption?


"The first thing I would want to do is simply commend and encourage them. I’d want to commend this act of selflessness and love. And I’d want to encourage them to remember that God’s grace is sufficient for their every need. That’s true of parenting in general, and it’s true of the specific case of transracial adoption and parenting. So, first, be encouraged.
Second, I’d want to encourage them to jettison the idea of “race” as it has historically been defined. Drop it like the bad habit it is. Learn to read the Scripture for its accent on our common humanity. Hayes’ Biblical Theology of Race is very valuable in this regard. Think of the children, indeed all people, as essentially “same” rather than “other.”
But third, having acknowledged our common humanity, think and teach your children to think in terms of “the nations.” In other words, there’s a tremendous opportunity in multi-ethnic families to cultivate a deeper concern for missions and getting the gospel to all nations. Try to prevent conversations and cross-cultural education from terminating on man or your family; try to think of those conversations as opportunities for thinking great thoughts about God who wants to be known among all people. The Lord has purposed that His glory will be shown in the bowing of the nations to His name. Our reflection on ethnicity and culture is incomplete if it doesn’t have that goal in mind."


6. Many who will read this interview have already adopted transracially. They are often concerned that their transracially adopted children will struggle with a sense of identity since they do not have same-race parents or do not live in an ethnically diverse area. Would you address their concern?


"Again, I’d want to remind them that the Lord’s grace is sufficient for their parenting and this concern. Lean into that grace; commit this issue to the Lord in prayer. He’ll direct your steps and give you wisdom in this area.
Second, it’s important to think of parenting as essentially an exercise in identity formation (spiritually first, and ethnically in light of those spiritual realities). So, give considerable time to helping your child think of her or himself as one made in the image of God. The dignity of their lives is derived primarily from this aspect of their identity. Whatever struggles they encounter in terms of social and ethnic identity, they should resolve them in light of this fundamental truth. Also, parents want to help their children ground their identity in Christ if the child is/becomes a Christian. They are being renewed in the knowledge of God, righteousness and holiness through their union with Christ. This is the most profound aspect of who they are and understanding this is critical for putting identity conflicts in their proper perspective. Having laid that theological basis then it’s time to think critically about ethnic culture, experiences, and ideas.
The mistake many will make—partly out of an overdeveloped sense of guilt, and partly out of a desire to help their children—is to rush to ethnic and cultural considerations. Based on my own experience running rites of passage programs aimed at fostering cultural identity and values, most children are really ill-equipped for this kind of exploration because they haven’t settled larger, more fundamental questions about existence, faith, and purpose. Parents want to lay that foundation first. Children will be healthier in the long run even if the struggle feels acute at some points. But for help with ethnic identity issues, don’t be afraid to enlist the help of others. Build cross-cultural friendships. Include cross-cultural experiences in the family’s entertainment options (books, movies, concerts, etc.). This may take some investment, but it’s not only good for the child but the parents as well. "

Beautiful, right? This is what we have been thinking, the idea of instilling in our children that who they are is found in Christ - not their abilities, accomplishments, or the way they look. (Who am I kidding?! I want to be overcome by this truth too!!) I was thrilled to come across a post of this man who puts it out there so clearly!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

JH is adorable





Okay, here is some news for all those wondering about our precious little red head. Today I dumped out a wooden puzzle to do with JH, but since he is obsessed with hanging out behind his bed these days, he wasn't interested. So-I left the room for maybe 30 seconds- came back and he had put all the animals in their slot and moved on to climbing on top of his train.

Our adoption as sons

We had scheduled a homestudy today so we can become DCFS licensed. This is a foster care license which is not necessary for becoming a safe family, but preferred. This is necessary for an adoption, so this gives us a fun, unexpected advantage. Crazy and unpredictable Chicago weather means our homestudy had to be moved to Friday- I know it is only 2 more days, but I am so eager to love on some families! We are heading to B's family this weekend to pick up a crib and a double stroller-such a blessing to have family hand-me-downs waiting on us.

I should take some time to tell you our hearts and why we want to adopt. I know lots of people have asked and we welcome the opportunity to try and tell you how God has worked in our lives.
It all started with Romans 8:15..."For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba, Father!" I truly learned for the first time that I was an orphan, born into Adam and God chose me. ( I am continually amazed by the way God leads by example in the things he calls us to do- I saw this even today as I read Matt 5:42-45)
I started studying Romans well before our miscarriages and so the question- are we adopting because of our miscarriages? Well, God has used those in our lives to bring us to this place where we are able and eager to adopt. But, no- we are adopting because God has layed it on our hearts to adopt. Everyone can point to milestones in their life that led to big decisions and it is beautiful to see God weave our life together. This is why I love our journey, because I can rest in each day knowing that I am a chosen daughter of the King and He has a plan for our lives that will ultimately bring Him the most glory and isn't that what truly matters in this world?
Why adopt from Ethiopia? At first, this ended up being one of 4 countries we qualified for due to location and age, and then we just fell in love with the people of Ethiopia. From all our reading we were first struck by the way that Ethiopians love and care for children. They truly try to come together and love on the kids, unfortunately this is not always an option due to extreme poverty and illnesses. They have a strong Christian Faith background ( even one of the wisemen was likely from Ethiopia) and they have over 4 million orphans right now. If this touches your heart (Matt25:35) - check out http://www.fieldsofpromise.org/ about sponsoring a family for as little as 35$ a month.
So thanks for being a part of our journey, we are excited to see God shape a new identity for our family-knowing all along that our true identity comes from HIM.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Who is a true orphan?

The Bible has a lot to say about ministering to orphans and widows (James 1:27). B and I hope one day (soon!) to adopt an orphan. But, unfortunately, I am left wondering- how will I know the child I adopt is truly without parents to love him (her)?
The deeper we get into the adoption world, the stronger our desire to help keep families together. We are in the process of becoming a "safe family". This means our home will be a place for a mother or father to leave their child while they deal with their own personal issues. The goal of this is to help keep children out of foster care and also to become a support system to the parents. I am thrilled to be a part of this program.
I am also thrilled because the agency we are hoping to use to adopt from Ethiopia has the same focus of trying to keep families together and also placing waiting children who are true orphans