Please pray

Praise God-our agency director has been able to build a relationship with a new orphanage...and we will probably have a referral in the next couple of weeks!!! She is waiting on all the medical and history backgrounds to make an official referral.
We are so excited. I keep wondering, is there one or two? boy or girl? How old? Is someone loving on my baby? I pray so. We have a renewed vigor to work on the paperwork and HOPE our homestudy meetings can be finished next week. I know I take it for granted that you all know this process. I will try to explain what the next couple of months might look like for us (GOD willing)

next week: Ben and I meet with our social worker in her office at the beginning of the week and then she comes to our home toward the end of the week
Ben and I continue to work on our dossier...all we are lacking is our police clearance. We just need to get fingerprinted and have an official document saying we are good citizens. Thankfully driving records don't matter

Next: Ben and I file for our I600A. This is to establish the fact that we hope to adopt an international orphan and eventually get our visa

Next: Our social worker completes our home study then sends it to Illinois state to be certified. At the moment this is taking up to 6 weeks!!!! Pray, this is our biggest time eater.

Next: We send our completed home study to our I600A application that is probably sitting on some government desk

Next: when we get our certified home study we then compile all the documents from our dossier and make 8 copies. This is when we begin the whole authentication chain (I won't bore you now, but I will when it happens!!!)

Next: Our dossier arrives in Ethiopia translated and we are hopefully approved!!! We will be given a court date within a couple of weeks and someone there will represent us on the day our child becomes ours in the eye of the Ethiopian court

Next about 2-4 weeks later we will travel to meet our little one! We pray that this will happen in July, but are truly asking God to arrange things in a way that will bring Him the most glory

This seems a tad overwhelming, but we are taking it all one day at a time as much as possible. John Harvey is constantly wanting to read his big brother book and today we made his tool bench a changing table so he could put diapers on his baby! Ben and I havent even talked to him much about the coming baby. Part of my heart hurts when I realize in another scenario, John Harvey might have a little sibling today. How I praise God that He redeems all things. I praise God that in His goodness He is giving John Harvey a little sibling. We deal with the effects of living in this world, but we are not without hope. We have a compassionate God. I am truly aching to hold my new little one.

bit of a lull

I alternate between feeling excited and "pregnant" and forgetting completely that we are in the process of adding to our family. We are in a bit of a lull bc our social worker is gone for the week and we have not heard any news from our agency.
I am definitely constantly reminding myself that God has a perfect time for our family to increase...
Currently, our family is super fabulous. John Harvey is adding new words all the time and I love to see him learn and soak up his world. We had a sweet easter with B and John Harvey loved his easter basket(for the second time!). One of my favorite gifts to give John Harvey in his basket was a new (0ld) Raffe cd. One of the songs...

I wonder if I'm growing
I wonder if I'm growing
My mom says yes I'm growing
but it's hard for me to see

I start tearing up each time I hear this song. Not so much because John Harvey is growing so quickly. Just that I am so blessed to walk this journey with him. He is such a gift from God and Ben and I truly are grateful for each day with him.
I know, right?
I think about all of the children in this world who do not have a mom to tell them, yes they are growing. They don't have a mom to track their progress with journals and pictures. As parents, we are the keepers of childhood memories when we write our charts and remember milestones. I can't wait to delight in watching our ethiopian baby grow.

He is not even 2 yet!!!

Here is a recap of my day

1. This morning I am talking on the phone with L when I realize I haven't heard John Harvey's voice for a minute or two. I go searching through the house and find that all of my bedroom doors are closed. I open the door and John Harvey immediately jumps up and covers his eyes. I love how he thinks I can't see him if he can't see me. He had found all of the easter basktets. Ben had not even found the easter baskets!! I thought I had a great hiding spot. He was covered in basket goodies and eating chocolate...
2. Went to the Christian bookstore. John Harvey discovered the turning display with all of the jewelry and earrings. He was spinning it as hard as he could while watching things fly off and saying uh-oh, uh-oh...
3. Come home and Ben and I are talking when we notice the SILENCE again. We go in his room where John Harvey has emptied all of his baskets of toys and pulled every book off of the shelf. He is happily sitting on top of the pile reading...
4. Time for bed. As Ben and I are loving getting John Harvey's good night kisses He all of the sudden says Uh-oh. We look to see where he was pointing and there was Mimi eating Ben's dinner. We couldn't even be mad at Mimi bc John Harvey was so darn cute.

what's that word, again?

http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/PositiveLanguage.pdf
I recently* had a conversation with someone about our adoption. The person told me he knew all about the adoption process because his parents adopted. I'm thinking, how exciting! So I ask-how many siblings do you have? He said "I have a brother, we are the real children and my parents adopted the others."
real children?
I was so saddened by this statement. Not offended or anything. I am not one of the people who is offended when you say you adopted a dog-you will definitely hear me say that I adopted mimi! Just saddened. I immediately called Ben and brainstormed and prayed that we will love all of our children as our OWN, REAL children. I love the fact that one day we will think of adoption in the past tense. We will look back with excitement on the day our adoption was finalized and after that our child will be ours, just plain old ours.
You can check out the website above for some positive adoption terminology.

Hey big red

It took me months to get the ladies at the post office to stop calling john harvey amanda (note to new moms...don't carry a bag with your own name on it). Today they came up with a new name, big red. John harvey is totally aware of the effect his hair has on people-and by the way, he loves it. We kept thinking it would get darker, but it just seems to get brighter!
He had a huge dinner tonight and I thought surely his little belly was stuffed so I said "okay john harvey do you want any more food?" To which he replied in his adorable little voice, "uh-reo! uhreo, uhreo, uhreo..." papa has him oreo crazy. He always eats them the same way. He breaks them apart and scrapes off all of the white then eats the cookies. Yes, a dentist gives his son oreos almost every night. (Keep it all within the meal and brush every night by the way)
So we finished one more step for the dossier today...all the financial stuff from the CPA. Now we have to do the police clearance. We're getting there! I can't believe someone as unorganized as I am may one day have a completed dossier!

Injera, please

We had our first taste of Ethiopian food today. We went to a new Ethiopian restaurant in Chicago called Demera. Our precious friends Vince and Lark went with us. As you can see in the pics, no utensils, you break off a piece of injera (a sour flat bread-Ben called it a moist pancake consistency) and scoop up the food.
I am hoping to learn to cook some kind of ethiopian dish, so it is nice to know what I am shooting for! Spicy and super yummy. john harvey especially liked the chocolate ice cream for dessert!

Tiny bit of news, kind of

We just heard from our agency director. We are so grateful for her. She is a believer (I may have already told you that)- So we just get eachother. We both know that God ultimately has His will in this.
The news is...there may not be news for quite a while. Establishing a relationship with a new orphanage can take time and a lot of back and forth
That being said, Ben and I think we are still going to pursue this adoption as if we are bringing them home to Chicago. We don't know God's timing, but we know we want to be ready when He is.
The truth is, it makes no sense from a financial standpoint for us to do all this work in Chicago to just have to redo it in Tn when we move. But, our overriding standpoint is the kingdom of God. I am amazed by all the people already involved in our paperwork-social worker, doctors, banker, CPA, etc...and I can't talk to any of them about the adoption without sharing what God is doing in our life...and that may just be God's plan in the timing.
So redoing the paperwork if need be will be fine. At most it should take about a month in Knoxville. Since courts are closed until October (I think) we will have plenty of time to update.
My thoughts now are (I think) at least by Christmas we will have an extra stocking to hang by the tree! Will it be monogrammed in blue or pink? Will there be one or two? I can't wait to find out.

Onward and Upward

I like being able to share our lives with all of you. Upside...your prayers and encouragement are a vital part of our lives. Downside...we don't really know for sure how our life will shape out and I am a bit hesitant to write anything at this point.
Ben and I daily pray for the children of Ethiopia and for our children. Our desire to come alongside Africa in anyway possible is unwavering. Our desire to help families stay together in America and abroad also unwavering. The way we hope to shape our family-constantly evolving.
We thought maybe we knew who we were to adopt, but it looks like one of the orphanages may not partner with our agency after all. This means the 2 little girls we have prayed so much for may not be available to us. We praise God for showing them to us and allowing us to love them from afar and pray for them specifically. They have such sweet faces and we pray they will also have soft hearts toward God. They are at a christian orphanage where all the little girls grow up wanting to be nuns!
In other news, our agency may possibly be partnering with an orphanage that has waiting babies. God is good, always! Ben and I feel so blessed to constantly be of the same mind concerning our adoption and so blessed to know God knows who HE wants us to raise as ours.
We just completed our 3rd appointment for our homestudy. We are waiting on some financial paperwork and then get to schedule our actual home visit. We hope to have our whole homestudy completed by the first week of April
So, onward and upward. Praise God for our journey.

check out that hair!

Ben and I are so grateful for God's provision and our precious, precious son!!! We just got some interesting news from our adoption agency this past weekend. It could not have been better timing. We keep asking God to daily make our will His. This is truly a journey...

coming to a close

The kids go back home tomorrow morning. I am very thankful to have a relationship with the mom. I hope Ben and I can provide encouragement to her. That is all I can really say...Except, I am so blessed. I have an abundance. I think I live on a low income as a student wife-I can't even begin to know what a low income is.

Our first family

I know I haven't blogged in forever!!! We got the call Thursday night about a family that needed some encouragement for a bit. So...since then we have had a 2 yo boy and 3 yo girl staying with us. We got the call while our small group was over cooking Thai food. Ben and the guys immediately ran out to buy another pack and play and other necessities. Then when the family came they joined us for the feast.
Time is not something I have a lot of right now. Thankfully, encouragement from from all of you and God's strength seem to be abundant in my life. This is so much different than I ever imagined...

Cousins

John Harvey has the most adorable cousins ever!! Thanks mom for posting this

Celebration and loss

Ben and I have so much to celebrate about what is ahead for us. We definitely spend hours discussing school and home schooling and language and food etc...We have so many ways to prepare to be good parents to our new children
1. Learn to cook some ethiopian dishes- Ethiopians eat most (maybe all?) of their meals with injera. This is a soft and sour flat bread as big as the plate. you pinch off a piece and use it to scoop up food. I have also learned that children drink warm milk (wait until they taste john harvey's newest obsession-hot chocolate!). And in Ethiopia feeding someone is a sign of caring and love.
2. Learn some Amharic. We think maybe the children we hope to adopt have grown up speaking a different language (ethiopia has over 70 dialects). But this is the main language and this is what they will hear in the orphanage.
3. Do our best to learn and understand what it means to raise a transracial family. We will take classes through our social worker. We are also reading lots of books and annoying our friends with tons of questions(not really, we have the most precious friends!)

Praise God He equips us for every good work!

Ben and I feel a burden to help Ethiopian children. We also share with all believers a burden for all orphans and children who are struggling. We know there are so many children in America who need homes. And for those who ask about this-I am happy to try to tell you what I think.
Yes, God calls all belivers to minister to orphans
Yes, generally you can find ways to serve in your own backyard
And I guess international adoption is not specifically mentioned in the Bible -unless you count God's adoption of us-could we BE more different?!?!
Domestic adoption is not our calling-not this time around anyway. Lots of people have a heart to adopt american orphans and I praise God they do. Ben and I also have a desire to keep families together in America. We are not forsaking the children of our country. Americans have so many resources in the forms of extended family, public assistance, and medicare. Ben and I hope to be yet another resource through continued work with Lydia Home. Believe me when I say we did not take this decision lightly. We sought out meetings about domestic adoption and prayerfully considered several agencies. Neither one of us pictured ourselves adopting African children when we married. We never pictured ourselves raising a red head either. Now we can't imagine our life shaping out any other way-on both counts! How could we have planned a better life for ourselves?
And even when I talk about our excitement and celebration to adopt our children, we also know this is a sad situation full of loss. Our precious children have lost the only parents they have ever known. Ben and I have lost babies that we had such hopes for. How AMAZING is our God? When we find our identities in Him-He truly redeems our lives-every loss and every sadness-all redeemed for His glory.
As I meditate on our adoption as sons this is the biggest difference I see. As a beloved child of the King-I have lost nothing and gained everything. This is truly a cause for celebration.

time to play outside!