Lots of time to myself tonight with JH asleep "T" with her parents (For the night only) and Ben on a plane...
This verse has shown up repeatedly in my life lately

"If you say, 'see, we did not know this,'
Does He not consider it who weighs the hearts?
And does He not know it who keeps your soul?
And will He not render to man according to his work?"
Proverbs 24:12

What is it I know? I could fill a book with the sadness and neediness I have seen and heard of in the last six months alone-things I had never before thought to contemplate. In Africa and in Chicago. Oh, in Chicago. What is a girl to do? This safe family program continually stretches and challenges me. At night there is no lack of attitude and selfishness to confess. How hard it can be to raise another's child. How holy the work of investing in these lives. As I see the Holy Spirit convict "T"s father...I am in awe. How short of a time. But then, that is how God works when we are hungry for Him and seek His word and work. I want to be that hungry, but to open my heart right now is to say...this is dirty, scary, hard...and don't let me forget-radical, uncomfortable, life changing. This is how I want to live. This is a living sacrifice, a spiritual act of worship. This is just a taste. Now I know there are so many families struggling to stay together, so many searching for truth and wisdom in this fallen world. And does He not consider it who weighs the hearts?